Journal according to Mary Maloney

If I were Mary Maloney, I would probably have loved my husband, Patrick Maloney, very much. I would have given him the best, but not really expect the best from him in return. I would only expect his love and caring, especially now that I am pregnant. I did not expect that he would give me his worst, leaving me and abandoning me in my advanced state of pregnancy. I was so angry, so disappointed... with both him and myself. Had I not given him enough, are was it just his fault he gave up on me? No, I decided, it was his fault he abandoned me. I decided to try to calm down before I made him regret, settled this debt. But his last words... it was the last straw. My brain was not working with so much rage. One moment, he was there, the next, I'd killed him. After that, I tried to get over him, get over that incident, but it was hard, Partly because of my old love for him; partly because of fear- fear I would get caught, fear of my guilty conscience making the rest of my days miserable, but eventually, I got over him, over the incident, and it became a tripwire in my memory, a tripwire I'd learnned to step over, to ignore.